Janet Ophelia Kilby “Phoebe”

Janet Ophelia Kilby – “Phoebe”

Almost everyone knew Janet Ophelia Kilby as “Phoebe.” Her unusual name was fitting as she had an unusual array of life interests. She loved music and dance and taught Zumba classes. Before she passed away, she expressed the hope that everyone would get up and dance a salsa during her memorial service. She also loved nature and spent most of her life dedicated to honoring and protecting the natural world. Designing and preserving greenways, natural areas, open spaces and parks were her specialty as a public planner and consultant. She also took on a forest rehabilitation project on her property in Asheville, NC, by removing non-native invasive plants and replacing them with plants native to North Carolina.

Later in life, Phoebe discovered Coming to the Table, a movement inspired by Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.’s “I have a dream speech” where he said, “I have a dream…that the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave owners will be able to sit down at the table of brotherhood.” Her research showed that her ancestors had enslaved people in Virginia, and she was able to identify people today who were descended from those slaves. She contacted Betty Kilby on Martin Luther King Day 2007, and together they embarked on a journey of self and family discovery. In 2014, Phoebe, in consultation with Betty and her family, established the Kilby Family Endowed Scholarship Fund at the POISE Foundation in Pittsburgh, PA, to benefit descendants of people her family enslaved. In 2021, Phoebe and Betty co-authored the book Cousins: Connected Through Slavery.

Phoebe was born on May 3, 1952, in Baltimore, MD, and passed away on November 11, 2025, in Asheville, NC. She attended Duke University in Durham, NC, and lived in Arlington, VA, and Maurertown, VA, before moving to Asheville. She is survived by her husband James Barry Carpenter and her sister Margaret Hill Kilby (Martin). Her step children include Cara Carpenter Hotz (Mike) and Kyle Barry Carpenter (Carrie). Her step grandchildren are Coleman Carpenter and Carly Carpenter.

Anders Rice & Roper Funeral Home and Cremation Center is Honored to Serve the Kilby Family.